Above the Fold: The Human Brain
I'm having a day. It's all good stuff. My brain was itching to write today. I had a bunch of proposals to get out to clients. I facetimed with my daughter (away at college) for a while. She wanted to plan a post-Christmas brunch and coordinate her coming home for the holidays. My eldest son passed his first level Sommelier and became a certified Cicerone. My middle son is on location filming yet another movie. I am soaking in the joy and good news.
It all seems to be taking my breath away. I think, when you go through four years of hell, the good news seems even "gooder" (I do love to make up words, be prepared). The scale of comparison makes the range of emotion seem wider.
I have been planning a Friendsgiving with my friends. I spent some seriously soulful time with my beautiful cousin. I've been soaking in the beauty of the colors of fall. I've snuggled under a comforter, remembering how much better cold feels when it's not coming from an a/c unit.
Yet, I still live on the edge. I never know when the next seizure comes. Dan's memory loss requires multiple interruptions to answer questions already answered (and answered). He apologizes. It breaks my heart. I'm wondering, will there ever be a day I don't think about it?
I remember after 9/11, I couldn't imagine a day going by without the horrific events of the "day everything changed" not having a prominent place in my daily thoughts. Days went by. Weeks. Months. Years. It ebbed. It rose. How long does it take for a trauma to pass in order for you to have a fear-less day? When will I be able to fully soak in the joys of life without waiting for the next bad thing to happen? Why does it seem that some handle adversity and grief with such grace and kindness? I know I try to be fearless and brave and full of grace. I'm not really sure I succeed.
I live my life as an optimist. Always have. It migh --
And, there it is. The interruption. In my early days as a writer, Dan knew, if my fingers were moving on a keyboard, he couldn't talk to me unless the house was on fire, and, even then, only if all escape routes had been consumed by flames. As I was typing, he asked me (for the 12th time today) what I'd like to have for dinner. Not his fault. It's his brain. It's been damaged and ravaged and, gosh, he doesn't want to ask me the same questions over and over.
This blog was going somewhere. It has now veered into another direction because I can't seem to get back on the path I was headed. I'm sure whatever I was going to write was infinitely brilliant and hilariously funny. In fact, I'm positive. Feel free to feel enlightened and filled with laughter, as I'm sure that's where we were headed.
In my gift store, I used to carry a sign that read, "It is what it is." Truer words have never been spoken.
Today I choose JOY and GRATITUDE. It is what JOY is. It is what GRATITUDE is.
Why in the hell did the Facts of Life song pop in my head?
"You take the good, you take the bad
You take them both and there you have The facts of life, the facts of life"
Man, oh man. The brain is a weird thing. Healing through sitcom theme songs. Who knew?
Stella lives in Port Jefferson, NY and Orlando, FL (mostly Port Jefferson, these days) with her husband, Dan, and her loving and lazy yellow lab, Toby. She's the mom of three totally self-sufficient adults (serious shout-out here, folks). She's crazy in love with her gorgeous and brilliant grandchildren, James and Lilly (not named for Harry Potter's parents, but love the connection). She's the Co-Founder of eleven07 Main, a Public Relations Firm, located in New York. Cooking for those she loves is her passion. In all she does, she lives by the motto: Pay It Forward.
© Copyright, 2019 by Stella Tessler.